WHO AM I?! I'M THE GUY WHO'S GONNA WIN THIS WAR!
WELCOME TO MY DIGITAL COMMAND POST, SCUMBAGS! THIS FORTRESS OF FREEDOM HAS BEEN ACTIVE SINCE MAY 30, 2025! AND IT WILL STAND UNTIL THE EAGLES STOP SCREAMING "DEMOCRACY"!
I AM A TF2C SOLDIER! I DON'T NEED YOUR FANCY HATS OR YOUR GLOWING PINK GUNS, YOU HIPPIES! I FIGHT WITH PURE, UNADULTERATED AMERICAN SKILL AND A LOADOUT FORGED IN THE FIRES OF BATTLE! AND ROCKETS! LOTS OF ROCKETS!
FOR DETAILED STRATEGIES AND CLASSIFIED INTEL, PROCEED TO THE WAR ROOM IMMEDIATELY!